The birthday of your child, how do you celebrate such a special day? The day your child was born? The day you probably got to hold him for the first time? And for a birth mom, it’s the day that you knew your child would not be going home with you.

A birth mom may find herself spending that day, that week, that month, reliving their time in the hospital. They might relive every last moment spent with their child. It can be a tough day.

The birth mom may be constantly wondering, “did I make the right decision,” “will my child be mad at me,” “will they understand my decision?”

She might get a phone call or an email with photos of them celebrating their special day, but the truth is, while that may be fulfilling, there will always be a void.

This is my advice to birth moms: Try not to spend the day reliving the painful memories. Don’t spend your day wondering “what if?”

Take comfort that your child is happy on this day. Be joyful that your child is being thrown an awesome birthday party and is surrounded by loved ones.

And celebrate-Because you and what you did is worth celebrating!

Celebrate the life you gave to your child, celebrate the joy you gave to his family, and celebrate the sacrifice you made — for whatever reason you made it.

And if you must relive memories, remember the smile on the adoptive couple when you made them a family.  Remember the smile of your little one from those pictures.  Those pictures of him at soccer games and monkey themed birthday parties, surrounded by family and opportunity.  And remember your sweet moments with your child in the hospital and the love that you felt that led you to give him the best possible life.

You did something truly amazing and brave and nobody can take that away from you and that choice will always be worth honoring!